How to shift from helper to coach.

In June, I shared my views on the benefits of internal and external coaches and why I advocate for using internal coaches in organisations. The blog explored the importance of enabling leaders to coach and having a pool of independent internal coaches to aid performance and development.

Here, I want to focus on how you can make that switch from someone who helps others (your team/peers/business partners) by giving advice and direction to having more of a coaching style.

Why you should shift.

Developing a coaching style will enhance how you develop others. With a coaching style, you will find relationship building easier, establish greater trust, and be more empowering of others. This supports positive psychological safety, as a coaching approach demonstrates you can consider multiple ideas and solutions and build on them.

A coaching style helps to unlock the other person’s thinking, ideas, and potential. This is about switching from being right and knowing the answer to enabling the other person to find the answer for themselves. This means they are more likely to want to own and follow through on the actions or plans they have identified, because they are theirs.

How to make the shift.

This blog isn’t about preparing you as a professional coach. You won’t be able to read this and start selling your services. To do that, I’d recommend getting qualified and developing your expertise.

This is about making small changes to your everyday conversations so that others start to recognise your coaching style because they benefit from it.

1.       Start by understanding the principles of coaching.

The GROW model created by Sir John Whitmore is a great place to start, as it’s a well-known coaching model that will help you understand the structure of great coaching.

Here’s a link to a helpful article, but google away and see what you find.

2.      Be clear about what’s happening.

This is not about becoming a coach only; this is about enhancing your style and shifting how you engage, changing your own mindset.

Think about a situation where you could use more of a coaching style than you do currently.

It could be when someone comes to you for the answer. How could you approach that differently in future for more impact?

You must take action to change what happens here and stick with it, even when they appear to struggle, or you do. They might want you to give them the answer, but this is about helping them identify a solution for themselves.

3.      Prepare; this will help you in the moment.

Think of a couple of helpful questions that shift the conversation's balance.

For example, when the person really wants you to give them the answer, instead of giving them an answer, what could you say instead?

You could try these:

• That’s an interesting situation; what would you like to do?

• What options are there?

• How could the situation be different?

Based on the type of scenarios you find yourself in typically, start pulling together a list of questions that will help you to shift from advice to empowering them to find their own answers.

4.     Get some feedback.

With the people you are taking this new approach with, ask them how they are finding it. This may unlock some challenges they are facing with it, so you can work together on resolving them.

You might meet some resistance, “I just want you to tell me what to do”, but the reality is, you aren’t really helping them in the long run, and that’s the same for you too.

Be clear that you want to help them and that this new approach is the most effective way to do this.

5.     Keep practising.

By practising, it will become a habit, and ultimately, it’ll just be part of how you do your job.

6.     Build in time to reflect.

Take some time to reflect on the feedback you’ve had, but also to reflect on how you are finding this new way of working.

What do you like about it, what do you find challenging, and where do you want to improve?

If you have a mentor or leader yourself, consider sharing with them the changes you’ve implemented and the learning points from your reflections. You may want to encourage them to take a coaching approach with you, if they don't already.

You'll find, once this becomes a habit, that taking more of a coaching approach with your work will pay off for you, those you are working with and the organisation.

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Would your organisation benefit from implementing external coaching for Leaders?

I'd love to help you with that - visit the coaching section of this my website.